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Monday, February 28, 2005

Start Your (Hopefully Non-Exploding) Engines!

Blow me Michael!

Lifting Shenanigans

I'm on the road this week but thought I'd put a few thoughts out there regarding weight lifting and other athletic piss-me-offs.

I don't claim to be a champion lifter or anything like that but there are a few things that I can't understand. First among them is the usage of lifting gloves. I just don't get this one. Are your hands so fragile that putting up 2 plates is going to damage them? Are people that use gloves afraid of calluses? Since when are calluses bad? Perhaps all these fruit cakes I see using gloves in the weight room are hand models.

I can't understand all this hub-bub over Under Armour. This stuff is ludicrously priced and I'm not sure what the purpose is. I've heard the stuff is comfortable but my god, are we that sissy-fied that we need comfortable clothing when we are pushing ourselves to the point of puking? The other reason for a $50 shirt among the metro sexual crowd is that it wicks away sweat. This may be fine if you are a cyclist and are out in cold weather. But in the weight room? When did we all turn into fruit cakes? Want to know how much the shirt I wear costs? $15; and when I sweat like a whore in church, it gets all over me. However, as I'm a man's man and unafraid of sweat, it doesn't bother me...therefore making it unnecessary to purchase a $50 shirt.

I guess the fine folks at Under Armour have tapped into the same vain that Gatorade did. They have made every John and Jane Q Public feel that he or she is the local equivalent of Jerry Rice and therefore in need of some serious technology in order to reach the Pro Bowl yet again. But I, being smarter than John and Jane realize I'm a shit-ass defenseman with a weak slapshot and a middle-of-the-road mountain biker only needing a boost after a long ride (22 miles +) or a race.

These folks who sell lifting gloves, Under Armour, and Gatorade don't really want too many people like me: Those living in reality. I rule!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

If Only It Were a Joke


I've Seen All I Need to See

Twenty-five minutes into Real Time with Bill Maher I realized I was watching the worst politics-related show on television. The miserable interview with Leslie Stahl, the adult ADD antics of Robin Williams, and the fact that Tommy Thompson - oh yes, the guy that was in the cabinet of the Bush administration - couldn't get a single word in to save his life.

But worst of all, the audience on Maher's show is simply a pathetic, infantile liberal mob. They clap at anything like it's the state of the union address and a few actually booed Thompson - simply unacceptable. At one point during Maher's inane soliloquy-like "interview" with Leslie Stahl, he mentioned something like, "Isn't the environment great?" The audience, in pure pavlovian fashion, clapped for a good 10 seconds. How about boobies! Anybody here like boobies?

Do I really care what D.L. Hughley thinks? Well, not really but I'll listen to anyone's ideas. But should Bill Kristol really be shouted down by and talked over by Hughley? Should Maher, as a "host," rob his viewers of Kristol's thoughts for those of Hughley? Something tells me that's what his viewers want but it has become painfully clear who his viewers are now. The fact of the matter is, for political theatre, I would recommend Hannity and Colmes over Maher and his audience's liberal blathering. That's how bad Real Time with Bill Maher is. That’s why I stopped watching last year and that’s why I won’t be watching this year.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Emo Sucks Ass

The above statement is invariably true - well sorta. I guess if Morrissey is Emo then it doesn't suck all the way.

Infrequent reader, commenter, and bitchass, "Steve J Pants" sent this link to How To Dress Emo 2.0 today. Funny stuff. Reminds you of all the punkasses you want to punch in the face doesn't it? Then it reminds you of bands like Good Charlotte and A Simple Plan and you get even more irate. Rage building up, teeth gritting as you remember when at least M2 played non-suckass videos of real bands but now all you see is Crunk and Emo!

Come to think of it, this isn't a very constructive post.

Rich on Gannon and the Bush White House
Frank Rich on "Jeff Gannon:"
..."Jeff Gannon" is now at least the sixth "journalist" (four of whom have been unmasked so far this year) to have been a propagandist on the payroll of either the Bush administration or a barely arms-length ally like Talon News while simultaneously appearing in print or broadcast forums that purport to be real news.

But this shouldn't surprise anybody. If it does, you've been living under a rock, away from staged "Town Halls" and scripted news conferences. As I've always said here and in real life, all I want is an honest debate on the issues. Bush seems unable or unwilling to provide these things but somehow maintains the handle of "leader" among his followers. I've never thought of leaders that way. ...I've never thought of Bush as a leader either.

Forbes Says "Blame Bettman"

Ok, let's do that.
By putting franchises in places like Nashville and Atlanta--cities that think the Stanley Cup is some type of athletic supporter--Bettman destroyed the sport's economics.

Fuck Gary Bettman. Say it with me, "Fuck - Gary - Bettman." Feels a little better.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

User Acceptance Can Be a Real Bore

I'll Be Calling in Sick until May

I caved in and grabbed the Gamerush at Blockbuster a few months ago. Since then, I've been sampling a few games here and there but really haven't come across anything that grabs me - until a few weeks ago when Mrs. Ober came back from the store with this crazy new game called Mercenaries. Naturally, I rolled my eyes. Since then, I've been to work 4 times and cancelled a few business trips.

Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction isn't really revolutionary but it includes aspects of other games and rolls them into one. ...ok, so you can carpet bomb an area, that's new! So, when I beat the game, I'll promptly be showing back up to work. Until then, General Song had better watch his bitch ass.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Why Don't You Just Kick My Dog While You're Here

Now that the NFL is on a 6 month break, normally I would be Cheering on the Wings and crying over the state of the Pens at this point. But a perfect storm of grief, boredom, sadness, melancholy, anger, disappointment, chagrin, etc, has befallen me.

How is a man supposed to wake up on Sunday without the NFL? How is said man then supposed to compensate without the NHL? What will I do with my time? From whence will I find sporting event-watching structure? Frailty, they name is Ober for the next 6 months.

The President's Priorities are Totally Nuts

Funny stuff - well, not literally funny subject matter - from Friedman as he points out the truly strange priorities of the Bush administration.

Perhaps Friedman and I could be wrong and just not understand the Bush administrations plan. But we do have 4 years policy now and we do have 4 years of utterly dishonest rhetoric (See: Iraq, The Budget, The War on Terror, Social Security, etc).

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Certainly Not "Stingy"

Bush asks for nearly $1 billion in Tsunami relief. Kos and Atrios must have missed it.

Other than that, I've been too busy to notice anything in particular.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Because You're All Too Lazy or Stupid

This email is a hoax. If you honestly believe that Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) makes $7,000,000 via pension, you should be deported.

It's CBS fever all up in here. Nobody researches anything anymore.

George Bush as 'The Riddler' in Tort Reform

I have a vision. A vision of another shitty Jerry Bruckheimer movie this time featuring George Bush. In this movie, Bush will say all sorts of things and it's up to the rest of the cast to figure out which are true or where the true meanings lie.

In Tort Reform with Will Smith and Nicolas Cage, Bush attempts to wow the cast into believing that a few lawyers are bringing down the whole health care system. Unfortunately for Bush, Cage, playing the role of the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) foils his plans with facts.

Savings of this magnitude would not have a significant impact on total health care costs, however. Malpractice costs amounted to an estimated $24 billion in 2002, but that figure represents less than 2 percent of overall health care spending. Thus, even a reduction of 25 percent to 30 percent in malpractice costs would lower health care costs by only about 0.4 percent to 0.5 percent, and the likely effect on health insurance premiums would be comparably small.


That doesn't stop Bush or his minions of true believers from believing up is down and right is left - ok, now I know we're into Superman territory with Bizarro Superman. So, in the absence of fact, one has to ask: What is the true motivation here? Is this just a poor prioritization or something else?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Spinsanity Signs Off

The truth serum that was Spinsanity will now be removed from sphere of public discourse. What a pisser. It was fun while it lasted.

Malkmus to Release "Face the Truth"

Two of the finest records of the last five years (here and here) will now be proceeded by another. Stephen Malkmus is planning on releasing a new record on May 24th. Titled "Face the Truth," I'm fairly certain it will kick ass.

I'm giddy with anticipation!

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