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Friday, January 30, 2004

Yzerman: He's Not Bad.

Steve Yzerman is a longtime resident of Detroit. He also plays a little hockey for a mildly successful NHL franchise called the Red Wings.

Steve Yzerman moved past Mario Lemieux for sixth place on the NHL's career scoring list with his 1,702nd point in Detroit's 5-2 victory over the New Jersey Devils on Thursday night.

Congratulations on passing Super Mario.

``I can't even count that much,'' [Tomas] Holmstrom said. ``That's a lot of points. It's incredible.''

Enough of This. I'm Ready to Get My Learn On!

If the above sounds like you, maybe you should go here. OpenCourseWare is one of the coolest ideas I've seen. I'm checking this part out as I write.

Bummer, no sections on how to acquire R0t.

God Bless You MIT.

FAQ.

Reader:
Ober, for a computer person, your site looks fairly shitty. The spacing is strange and the site in general looks "clunky." The caption next to the picture of the gothic dude actually starts a new line. It looks bad. You are an embarrassment to your profession.

Ober:
Dear Reader, I agree with you that the site looks bad or "clunky" as you stated. I agree only because I have a feeling you are using the proprietary browser call Internet Explorer. I however, am developing my site to be aesthetically pleasing when viewed with the open source Mozilla; A standards based and compliant product. If you would promptly switch to a browser that doesn't subvert the missions of humanity - peace, collaboration, and scientific progress and discovery - you would find that my site looks better and you would be less of an SOB.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

FAQ.

Reader:
Ober, are you really blogging at 5am and sometimes throughout the day? ...And another thing; You blogged information about Carnegie's press conference before it happened? Are you located in a separate dimension from the rest of us?

Ober:
Dear Reader, Yes, I am in a separate dimension. No I typically don't blog at 5 am or throughout the day. I am blogging at aprox. GMT even. I usually post at 8am, 12pm, and 8pm est. While my time-of-post may lead one to believe one thing, you should be careful believing what you read.

I RULE!

Open Debates.

Hey, open debate is one of the things we support over here at Ober's Doxology. So it should surprise few that I'm asking people to take this action item: Go here and sign the petition that says this:

"We, the undersigned, support Open Debates' campaign to reform the presidential debate process. We believe that the presidential debates should serve the American people first, not political parties. We support replacing the bipartisan Commission on Presidential Debates with the nonpartisan Citizens' Debate Commission, so that inspiring formats can be employed, pressing national issues can be addressed, and popular independent and third party candidates can be included."

Read more about Opendebates.org here!

"Ober, you are so clever. How did you hear about this site?" I'll tell you: Nader.org. Follow this link.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

So You're Saying I Could Have Used Porn to Pay for College?

If only I would have been as industrious as prospective Cleveland Indians pitcher, Kazuhito Tadano. Maybe I could have avoided all those loans.

Oh, well....Maybe I can use gay porn to finance my masters.



West Texas Goths Rebel Against Oppressive Culture.



"Nightshade" Kreuthenmeijer, right, promises "darkness"


Midland, TX - For the third consecutive day, local Goths have unleashed years of rage and pent-up frustration upon a local convenience store. The 7-11, located on LaMesa Road and E. Front Ave, has been a hotbed of subversive Goth behaviour for years. These days the embers of West Texas Gothic rage have exploded into a 5 alarm blaze causing shop owners and parents alike to ask, "What gives?"

Erik "Night Shade" Kreuthenmeijer, suspected leader of The Midland Order of Perpetual Darkness, released a statement on Tuesday calling for, "A new order of darkness, lament, and foreboding" to "fall upon this desolate land."

Police lieutenant Barry McOder, in a statement to this publication said local police are "On alert for any corresponding lamentations or subsequent foreboding."

When asked for a profile into the reclusive leader, East Midland High chemistry teacher, John Dockerty, noted, "Erik? Ah, he's a great kid. Sort of quiet. Keeps to himself. His grades are great - I have actually been helping him with his application to [Texas] A & M."

To shore up local defenses against a possible Goth assault, whatever that may include, local police have instituted a curfew.

Naseer Walker, night manager at 7-11, couldn't be happier. "They just hang around here doing nothing, scaring away my customers. Why don't they get a job? They just do nothing but complain. If they could see where I come from, they wouldn't be complaining as much...This much I know."

Font Change Excites Individual.

Yes, I changed the font on this site to make you happier.

That should hold me for a while on the changes.

Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Center for Public Integrity.

While at work today, I heard these guys on the radio. Interesting stuff - if you love freedom and hate evil doers.


A Silver Lining in Every Cloud of Worms.

When getting infected with a worm may actually do some good....kind of....

Karaoke and Hookers, Together at last.

This article is so strange and confusing, I thought I should release it for public comment (or review.)

I personally believe the writer does a terrible job of telling those of us that don't live in the bay area what is going on here. Here is evidence that he is also not as colour-blind as we would like:

"``If a bar or any other club wanted to have private rooms, they'd have to go through the same scrutiny,'' said Councilman John Lee, who is white. ``We're not singling out karaoke. It's just that this applicant has private karaoke rooms.''"

Just to let you know, Mr. Reader, Lee, in this case, is not Asian. Wink, Wink.

Past that, this article is pretty short, bizarre, and moderately humourous.

Human Rights Watch Essays.

A series of essays have been released by Human Rights Watch. These essays are released under the title, "Human Rights and Armed Conflict. One of the essays is titled, "Above the Law: Executive Power after September 11 in the United States."

An excerpt reads like:

"Immediately after the September 11 attacks, the Department of Justice began a hit or miss process of questioning thousands of non-citizens, primarily foreign-born Muslim men, who it thought or guessed might have information about or connections to terrorist activity. At least 1,200 non-citizens were subsequently arrested and incarcerated, 752 of whom were charged with immigration violations.29 These so-called special interest immigration detainees were presumed guilty of links to terrorism and incarcerated for months until the government cleared them of such connections. By February 2002 the Department of Justice acknowledged that most of the original “special interest” detainees were no longer of interest to its anti-terrorist efforts, and none were indicted for crimes related to the September 11 attacks. Most were deported for visa violations."

Read for yourself. These essays are relatively brief, concise, and poignant.

Israel: "Better Luck Next Time".

Hizb Allah leader Mustafa Dirani was kidnapped, tortured, and raped. ...but what's a little anal love between enemies. The details here.

Dear Single Reader,

Thank you for visiting my blog. We should talk sometime.

I would like to draw your attention to a few changes.

1) The background colour of this site was changed to be easier on your sexy eyes.

2) Language like "Toss my salad" and "Lick my balls" has been applied liberally.

3) The links, located in the right column have been updated. They reflect a more granular and comprehensive approach
to the internet the I peruse on a regular basis. The most change can be found in the "Tech Links" section. As I am a
computer security cat, I needed to add more stuff to reflect my interests - about which you so dearly wish to know
more. The "diverts ce moment" section was changed to more accurately reflect the fact that I speak French and
therefore believe I am, in some way, superior to others. "diverts ce moment" is slang from "divertessments" or
entertainment, at this time (ce moment.) This section reflects books that I'm reading/have recently read and music I'm
jamming to right now. The sports section is still a work in progress, while the "media and blogs" represent media
outlets that I find most informative or thought provoking.

Thank you, single reader, for visiting and feel free to inform us here at CaptainOber.blogspot.com of any questions, comments or concerns that you may have.

...and remember to leverage all available resources on a go-forward basis while keeping a level-set on the fact that this should all be right-sized in a proactive manner thus shattering all paradigms.

Mgmt.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Speaking of People Who Stand Up for Things....

Our man (whether you agree with him or not, he's still your man - there is a chance he has saved your life and you didn't know) Ralph Nader is considering running for president (of the U.S.)

Here's the Site. Go to the "Issues" section and check out the potential platform.

Now I know it can't compete with Bush's "Compassionate Conservatism" or Al Gore's "Lock box," but its a start.


AAA, Devil celebrate pact.

When I read this article about AAA Auto Club and its Anti-Environment lobbying, I was pretty surprised. I came across this article and info a couple of years ago - I'm sort of surprised I haven't posted it yet. When I ask members of AAA if they know what their membership helps support they never mention a pro-sprawl agenda.


The article is brought to you by the Better World Club (because I couldn't find the original Harpers article.) The BWC seems to have a more environmentally friendly agenda.

If you are still interested in reading more, check out this article from the NRDC, titled: "The Secret Life of AAA."

From the NRDC article:

"Nevertheless, AAA is on the record against virtually every proposal for cutting automobile pollution.

In 1989, AAA called vapor traps on gas tanks a safety hazard. In 1994, it opposed a move by smogbound eastern states to promote low-polluting cars.

In 1997, it came out against one of the biggest public health initiatives of recent years: new limits on the amount of smog and soot allowed in the air. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimated that every year the stricter limits would prevent 15,000 premature deaths, 350,000 cases of aggravated asthma, and 1 million cases of significantly decreased lung function in children. But at a "clean-air seminar" in Baltimore, Susan G. Pikrallidas, AAA's vice president of public and government relations, declared, "AAA is concerned that some cities might require unprecedented and unwarranted restrictions on motorists to meet the new ozone standard."

Most recently, AAA joined in the fray over EPA's "Tier 2" tailpipe standards, which were approved earlier this year. The Tier 2 Motor Vehicle Emission Standards and Gasoline Sulfur Control Requirements will dramatically reduce the legal limit on tailpipe pollution, including the carbon dioxide that is contributing to global warming.

Stephen Hayes tells me, without hesitation, that his organization supports the goals of the Clean Air Act and Tier 2. But the record says something different."


Saturday, January 24, 2004

Join the Dots, Beyond the Pale of Ober's Most Tangible Dreams.

If you aren't a fan of The Cure, now would be a good time to bail out on this one.

Good, you're still here.....

Keeping in the 26 year tradition of not releasing filler or poop, The Cure (Robert Smith) released, "join the dots" on Tuesday. "join the dots" contains B-side 70 tracks - all interesting if not great.

The liner notes, or book in this case, are truly fascinating, choosing to tell the story of the B-sides in informative, descriptive, and entertaining form (as opposed to not at all or poorly like so many other discs.) The photographs that accompany the discs are really interesting; In some of them, I couldn't even identify the younger "non-makeuped" Smith from the rest of the band. Only perverts like me would know to look for his chiseled, dimpled chin to find him. While following the progression of photos as they document the years, I enjoyed seeing how Smith's imagine took on a more dark, gloomy, and pale persona. ...And of course, the discs do that as well capturing his sweet, powerful, and melancholy music as it evolved.

Smith says in the liner notes, "I always expected great B-sided from the artists I loved." Ober says in his blog, "And we of you, Robert."

A great buy for Cure fans and passive listeners alike. (Although I fear $54.99 is a bit more then non-fans will spend.)

Happy Listening.


UPDATE:
AllMusic.com just posted the link here.


Bush: "I'll have 3 of those and 6 of these and 15 of those...oh, I love this..."

If you imagined Bush with a slightly effeminate voice, shopping at Macy's, you have the same visual as I did when I read this.

Titled, "The Republican Spending Explosion," Veronique de Rugy tells us a tail about a drunken sailor, newly embarked on shore leave with your money.

His name is George W. Bush and he likes to play dress-up in a uniform he doesn't deserve to wear, pays lip service to politically conservative principles, poses with fake turkeys, lies to start wars, and still has the support of The Wooden Shill.

Never in a Million Years Would You Expect.....

....This.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Clinton Library Found!

Not like it was ever lost...

I was watching CSPAN and caught Clinton's speech at Davos. They flashed the web address on screen so I figured I would post the link just because. Take a look.

I'll try to find the transcripts. I guess I had forgotten what a president that could speak sounded like.

Why is Ober More Politically Conservative Then Bush?

From Cato:

"President Bush declared that the American people are using their money far better than government would have'--but in fact his administration has taken 24 percent more of our money than the Clinton administration did. The most striking hypocrisy during the evening was members of Congress giving a standing ovation when Bush called for limiting federal spending and cutting wasteful spending. Congress and the president have cooperated to produce a 24 percent increase in spending in just three years. And the president praised Congress for 'great works of compassion' in creating a huge new prescription-drug entitlement--but it's not actually compassionate to spend other people's money."

Here's the full article.

George Will on Easterbrook's New Book.

Check out this older editorial regarding "Afflicted by Comfort," Gregg Easterbrook's (from Brookings) new book about our malcontent (and greed?) as a people.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Gory Footage From Iraq.

Had this violent link sent to me today. The first 4 people in the thread made no comments but the originator said, "Make it full screen its good action."

It really got me thinking; I wonder if the person that made that comment has ever been in combat? I suppose if he had, he wouldn't have referred to it as "good action." Perhaps he has and he has fond memories of war as "good action."


Howard Dean and DJ John Kelley to Collaborate Soon.

Howard Dean just released this mix to acid funk DJ John Kelley. I can't wait to see what John does with the tapes.

Via Atrios.

SCO: Profit Through Litigation.

Originally I was going to call it "SCO: Toss My Salad" but I figured that would be too flamboyant.

Follow this link over to /. and see how SCO is lobbying congress with FUD. I would be curious to see which Congressman and women fall for this. Come on, how many of your representatives understand copyright law, the GPL, or Open Source?

Congressmen X: "You mean they just give it away? Why hell, that's damn communism! I didn't dodge the draft for that war just to have them damn commies take over now!"

At one point SCO argues that the GPL presents a national security threat. Read for yourself. Never take my word for it.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Drug Policy and Education.

(This is a repost because my cousin, who never calls or writes, wrote something that I didn't want on this blog.)

Hey, I know my audience. That's why I'm posting this great article from Reason.

*********************************************************************************************** "Today's anti-drug programs claim to have replaced all the scare tactics of years past with good, solid information about the physiological effects of drug use. But these programs, which are based on the same flawed "scientific" information that adults have been using for years to keep kids off drugs, are a lot like anti-alcohol propaganda from the late 19th and early 20th centuries."
**********************************************************************************************

It can be a long read but I think everyone will at least find it thought provoking...like a Japanese Cowboy. Enjoy.


Holding Politicians Accountable.

Do you honestly expect the 4th estate to do it? Nope.

Here are two sites that help hold politicians accountable (the bizarro Tim Russert, if you will.)

Site #1: Factcheck.org
Site #2: Spinsanity.com

Get involved! Call bullshit. Stop accepting lies and/or exaggerations as fact.

Detroit, Suburbs Clash over Captain Ober Visit.

Fires rage as Troy residents burn everything in site.


Southeast Michigan - Many had hoped Southeast Michigan was ready for a renaissance. Last weekends deadly riots in Troy proved those days have yet to come.

In one of the most bizarre turns of invents in recent memory, a simple visit by a former resident, Captain Ober, sparked a weekend long spree of destruction.

The internet celebrity, security professional, and love machine was back in Detroit to visit the auto show, friends, and shop for hockey skates. But on Friday, the suburb of Troy held a "Welcome Back Ober: Thanks for Taxes" celebration. Ober however, was not in attendance. Troy residents and especially mayor Matt Pryor called for an inquiry into the suspected slight.

After 15 minutes of inquiry, Ober was found at the Detroit bar, The Village Idiot on Mack and Alter streets with Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Despite all indications that Ober was unaware of the reception in Troy and Ober's assurances to the Mayor and residents of his intent to visit on Saturday morning, violence erupted.

Troy residents looted and burned homes, business, and schools. At times natives of the city spilled into Clawson, Royal Oak, and across 8 mile road into Detroit.

On Monday the damage was done.

It is suspected that Troy residents inflicted approximately $900,000,000 in damage to the city. All over a simple misunderstanding.

On Monday, Ober returned to Troy. Rather than pomp and circumstance, the ashes and embers of a sterile, white bread, suburb greeted him.

SOTU: Onion Style.

Nope. You're not going to get me to comment on the State of the Union speech tonight.

I'll let this, from The Onion, do it for me.

Another Great Idea for Your Charitable Giving!

Just signed up for this the other day. Basically, escrip is a way to have a business donate 5% of your sale to your favourite organization, group, or charity.

I send mine here where we provide scholarships, daycare, and community events for ALL.

Find out if a store you visit supports escrip. If they don't ask them to do so. If they still don't, ask for the manager and punch him in the nutz.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Tab function in Mozilla cheered by Ober

If you aren't already using Mozilla you should be.

If you are, I thought I would share a feature that I have just started utilizing. ***bloggers: pay attention*** The feature is called the Tab. It allows you to have a window open (Maximized) while opening several pages simultaneously.

Lets say you have a site opened. Simply right-click (in Windows and LNX) the link and select Open Link in New Tab. Rather than taking you to a completely new window, our favourite browser will open a new page in the already existing window. I find it much easier to toggle between multiple pages this way.

To open a new page not linked on an existing page simply navigate to File > Open Web Location. Type in the web address you wish to visit in the scroll tab then go to the lower scroll tab and choose Open In: New Navigator Tab. Enter and Voila'! You have your new tab!

Give a whirl. I think you'll like it.

Wild Oats now selling Fair Trade Certified food!

Back from the grocery store tonight and pleased by a new addition in the Wild Oats arsenal: Fair Trade Certified food.

From the transfairusa.com's website:

***********************************************************************************************
Fair Trade is:

A living wage for farmers. During an unprecedented slump in world coffee prices, Fair Trade has become more important than ever.

A new model for business based on the "triple bottom line"—a fair deal for farmers and workers, environmental sustainability, and profitability for all parties in the chain of production.

An international movement with roots going back 50 years. TransFair USA is one of 17 national Fair Trade certification initiatives in Europe, North America and Japan. Together, these initiatives make up the Fair Trade Labeling Organizations International, www.fairtrade.net.

An opportunity to express your values with your purchase dollars. The coffee, tea and chocolate you buy represent the hard work of hundreds of thousands of people. Choosing products with the Fair Trade label is an easy way to make a positive impact on their lives.

A guarantee that clearly defined criteria were met in the production and trade of agricultural commodities. The international Fair Trade criteria for coffee, the leading Fair Trade Certified product worldwide, are:

A Fair Price: Producer cooperatives are guaranteed a fair price (a floor price of US$1.26 per pound or 5 cents above the prevailing market price; US$1.41 for certified organic coffee or 15 cents above the market price)
Democratic Organization: Producers must belong to cooperatives or associations that are transparent and democratically controlled by their members
Direct Trade and Long Term Relationships: Importers must purchase coffee directly from Fair Trade certified producers and agree to establish long- term and stable relationships
Access to Credit: When requested by producers, importers must provide pre-harvest financing or credit (up to 60% of each order)
Environmental protection: Producers must implement integrated crop management and environmental protection plans. Through price incentives, producers are encouraged to work towards organic production
**********************************************************************************************

This won't fix all of the problems in the world - but it can't hurt.

This is just another reason why Wild Oats (Ticker:Oats) is my favourite grocery store and business. If you have one in your area, check it out.

Monday, January 19, 2004

NAIAS: Boring.

Back from the autoshow. I can't say I was impressed with much of anything. Pontiac had the Solstice "concept car" there for the 3rd straight year. Great Job guys! Cadillac will now be adding as much gaudy bling and as many 110 degree angles as possible. Buick and Olds haven't come with anything new in 5 years. Honda and Toyota continue to dominate and Nissan is convinced the "box on wheels" concept is the wave of the future in SUVs.

Guess what bothered me most? Hybrids. As a shareholder of Ford Motor I felt it was my right to assault the Ford people regarding their lip service to Hybrids. In 2001 Ford said it would have a Hybrid escape, focus, and others within a year. Now, they say, "ahhh, maybe in the fall." GM and Daimler all say the same. Read betwixt the lines: Hybrids aren't a priority/We don't support them.

What's worse is Ford and others' continuing assault on fuel consumption. I recently read the U.S. auto fleet has had a decrease in fuel mileage. While I can't imagine that would be possible, if nothing else, anecdotal evidence from my years at the show backs it up. Every year the models on display trumpet horsepower vs. mileage. I assaulted the Saturn people with this question: Why does my car, which is 5 years old, get better mileage (36 mpg) then anything that you have now or will have in the future (29 mpg.) Answer: Because the new cars weigh more, have more power, and because your car has a single Cam shaft. The 3rd answer, re: the Cam shaft, made my head explode, as it did all weekend.

Finally, as I ready myself to purchase the new Toyota Prius, I was counting on the $3,000 tax incentive from the government to offset some of the $25,000 sticker cost. Not anymore. Under the Bush administration the incentive has been cut in half and sources say it is going to be fazed out next year.

Bottom line: Based on the cars at the show in Detroit, this country and the auto industry, are not even remotely committed to fuel consumption. Wouldn't conservation be so much easier then consumption? So much safer? I guess I'm wrong.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Quick, Call Kevin!

**************************************************************************************************
From: "Kevin Luss" kaluss@optonline.net
To: margaret@margaretcho.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 3:49 AM
Subject: your are not funny, but you are a good example....

of what's great about this country. an asian woman can grow nice and plump in this country...hey just like you did...eating sourdough and those huge sf style scones.....no more seaweed paper for you.

then, only in this country, you can look like a stuck pig (see http://www.drudgereport.com) and spout inane, vulgar, untruths....that are bought only in your adopted home town of sf.

now, don't you want to change your tune a bit about the government and all the bologney....when the lights go out at night do you really believe it, or do you look down at your belly, think about all those organic potato chips and sugar laden odwalla's, you think about your freedom on the stage, and you look at your success.....only in america my little piggie.

your stocks are up, you and your friends are all at work, you don't have a president getting bl*wjobs in the whitehouse anymore and he's advanced the largest government hand outs in decades.

why are you so angry.....the notorious p-i-g.

Just wondering

Kevin A. Luss
The Luss Group, Inc.
T.P. Luss & Co., Inc.
631.283.6875 ph.
631.283.3517 fax
************************************************************************************************

Political Discourse At A High Level

I'm not a fan of skimming Atrios' sloppy seconds but this was too much.

Here's a sample from Prof. David T Owens of The Michigan University School of Law. Drop him a line and see what knows!

************************************************************************************************

From: "David T Owens" res08hao1@mac.com
To: margaret@margaretcho.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 4:59 AM
Subject: Comments at Moveon.org

Dear fat g00k: I was disappointed to read your remarks today on Drudge. I was disappointed to read that you are just another Hollywood d!cksucker.

Instead of trying to be funny, why don't you devise a plan on terrorism? What would and your Hollywood buddies do, other than gobble knobs? Talk is cheap.

Love you long time.
*************************************************************************************************

Congrats David: Your an asshole! (Do you think he knows Drudge is gay?)

UPDATE:
Seems as though my sarcasm doesn't work well on this blog. David is not a professor of law at one of the premier law schools in the country. He's a moron.

P/E ratio: What The Fuck?

Who would have thought P/E ratio and "Fuck" could have been squeezed in the same line? Greenspan: Eat your heart out!

I found this article the other day and thought it was mildly interesting (thus crossing the threshold for posting to my shitty blog.) If you don't know what a P/E ratio is this article explains A) what it is, B) how you figure it, and, C) how you can put it to use in your investing.

Another gentle reminder to keep up with your 403(B) or 401(K). You'll thank yourself later!

Billmon and Left-Wing Reactionaries Expound on Conspiracies.

In one of the most nonsensical posts I've read in a while, Billmon, suspects something is askew, afoul, or amiss - or all three - with the government working with ***gasp*** Halliburton!

So let us see. This post, courtesy of Kop, makes a few assumptions, slings a few insults, replaces humour and wild speculation for fact-based conclusions, and highlights Halliburton (with a few other corporations and a government agency - not highlighted!)

I would be curious to see if anybody else thinks this is a tad over-the-top.



Tuesday, January 13, 2004

...But Ober, I Can't Give 10% of My Money Away. I Gots to Have da Bling Bling!

Fair enough you filthy hypocrite. Try something like this.

IRIS is reading to the blind. They can't read - you read for them. Don't like blind people? Find somebody else.

If you don't live in Indianapolis: 1) Congratulations, 2) I'm sure you can find a similar program. Remember time is money!

In the end all we are is the sum of our parts and that which we give away for free.

Monday, January 12, 2004

ACLU, O'Reilly, and the Truth.

I'm having trouble understanding this stink with the Boy Scouts and the ACLU.

Here's what the ACLU says. Here's what O'Reilly says.

This seems troubling - even the account from the ACLU.

Drugs or Mental Retardation or Both. Hillarity Ensues.

From George, this is the craziest pic I've seen in a while. Please watch now (RealPlayer required.)

If you haven't yet visited Ann Arbor, Michigan's finest blogger, please do so now.

Nessus. Cheap and Even YOU Can Use It to Impress Your Boss - Or Hire Me ($75 per hour).

Before you dismiss this post as "something I don't get or care to get," ask yourself these questions:

1) Do I work in a small office?
2) Is said small office connected to the internet?
3) Does said small office that connects to said internet have a security team?
3) Does said .... of geez...its to hard to ask questions like this....

If you have internet connectivity and you don't have Security Admins or your IT team is a 19-year-old, lead-guitar player in the local Slayer tribute band, "crucifixion," you need to check this out.

When you read this and understand it - go here. Then go to Nessus' home for more indepth coverage.

It goes like this: If you haven't patched your systems and you haven't taken even basic steps to protect yourself from "das bad guys," odds are you are already a victim. Question is, how, and not if, you are being victimized.

How much of your clients' personal information do you have on your systems?

IPV6 vs IPV4: This Time its Personal - or something.

Via /., this article details the trials and tribulations that we are all about to experience when we go to IPV6.

Don't know IPV6? Check this out.

What? You don't want to read an RFC....oh gawd....ok, try this.


Friday, January 09, 2004

"Well, see it was different then....er...ah...we used the best intelligence we had....hey, look over there."

"As recently as September, President Bush declared that there was “no question" that Saddam had ties to al-Qaida."

So now, we're down to 1 reason.


Metrosexuals, Randle Disagree Over European Football Uniforms





Seattle, WA - The U.S. metrosexual population and Seahawks interior defensive lineman John Randle seem to have divergent tastes when it comes to soccer uniforms

Head of the newly formed MaSSiVE (Metrosexuals for Style Sensibility Virtually Everywhere), Erik W. C. P. Whiltten, said Wednesday, I think they are absolutely fabulous! Hel-lo! You don't have to be gay to appreciate style."

However, Mr. Randle didn't share the same opinion. "Holy fuckin' shit man - are you serious?" Shaking his head Randle got up, pushed the desk away in disgust saying, "I'll kill 'em." At time of print it was unclear who Randle was talking about.

'Hawks head coach Mike Holgrem commented, "John is a straight-forward, man's man. He a great friend, teammate, and player. Apparently John thought something had gone too far."

Randle, pictured below, has been a stand out defensive lineman for 14 years. While Randle uses make-up to blacken his eyes on game day and has been known to bark at offensive opponents, sometimes taunting them with language like "I'm gonna fuck you up boy" it is unclear as to whether or not he considers himself a metrosexual.





This reporter suspects not.


Rhine Fire's Hambrick Finally Fired.




Dusseldorf, DE - The Rhine Fire fired head coach Rube Hambrick Tuesday in a move that ended one of the strangest 10 months in the history of NFL Europe and possibly all of sports. Hambrick had been a lightening rod for controversy, confusion, embarrassment, and worst of all - losing.

The move to hire Hambrick struck a controversial chord in February when one of the more successful NFL Europe franchises hired what many referred to as "a back-woods hack."

In March, Hambrick, for some inexplicable reason, accused the NFL of being, "Controlled by the chinks and Catholics." Later that month, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue suspended the coach and ordered him to begin "intensive treatment."

In April, the coach returning from therapy, was remoured to have been diagnosed as "mentally challenged." Which would explain the April 17th blood purge of the coaching staff at a retreat in Lyon, France. Under French law however, the mentally handicapped defendants must be fed a delicious goat cheese quiche and promplty returned to their guardian. Unbeknownst to the owners, assistant coach Pavel Schmidt, a professional tennis player, was in fact the Hambrick's legal guardian. The trial was put on hold for France's 6 month bank holiday and Schmidt's funeral.

During the season, Hambrick called plays on both sides of the ball - poorly. At one point, during the Fire's 65 - 3 loss to Barcelona, Hambrick insisted on running a "triple slot Dutch-Peruvian reverse with a twist" on offense and a "5-4-3-2-1" defense. As one is unheard of and the other is illegal - one could imagine how the Fire's season met with mixed results and a league high number of penalties (both in yards and flags.)

In September, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue insisted that the league was an equal opportunity employer and would "neither turn one down for mental retardation or complete incompetence." Said Tagliabue, "That's just not how we operate."

In October Hambrick was spotted in a Thailand "bath house" with Neal Bush on what Hambrick called, "A recruiting trip."

Finally, In November Hambrick announced the release of 19-year-old QB phenom Miguel Mitchell in favour of 14 year-old, 76 pound Wen Le Chen - a Thai teenager.

By December the owner's had had enough. In a press conference on Tuesday owner Shirley Jackson defended Hambrick but said, "Coach Hambrick is a special, special person. We hope the best for him. We just didn't have a position open for him in this franchise. He will be missed."

And how.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

I Like My News Like I Like My Religion: With a Middle Man

Look, you can debate the study on its merits using the ACTUAL study or you can get bits secondhand from Fox and CNN. The choice is yours.

Political Implications...or....Maybe Not

Some time ago, the #3 ranked triathlete in the country (in his division) and master of The Wooden Shill, produced a strategy for the democrats' taking of the White House.

In most respects, I think I agree. At worst, The Wooden Shill's prognostication is thought provoking.

However, given the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace's recent assessment of the Bush administration's actions regarding Iraq, perhaps a new wrinkle has been added.

One is certainly entitled to his or her opinion but I, however, believe it has not added wrinkle one. While the endowmnets' report is damning and, given that we have impeached a President for lying about oral sex, calls in to question why Bush has not been impeached (or at least highly investigated), I still contend it won't matter in the grand scheme of things.

As I watched the press conference I decided to take a quick trip around the television dial. Fox was running a 5 minute piece on the artistic stylings of Anne Heche and CNN was covering the all-important Perterson trial.

Get to the point Ober

Pat Robertson is right: Bush wins in '04. All the evidence in the world won't convince enough people to vote for somebody - anybody - else.

If you are voting for Bush and you happen to read this site (unlikely), please add a comment below explaining why. Explain how you can justify keeping an administration in power that has, at the least, lied about the existence of a threat to this country.


Hack for Microsoft Word Password Protection

From SecurityFocus.Com:

Overview:
---------

Word provides an option to protect "forms" by password. This is used
to ensure that unauthorized users can not manipulate the contents of
documents except within specially designed "form" areas. This feature
is also often used to protect documents which do not even have form
areas (quotations/offers etc.).

(Word users will find this option on the "Tools" menu, entry
"Protection", select "Forms" there and provide a password)

If a Word document is "protected" by this mechanism, users cannot
select parts of the text or place the cursor within the text --- thus
they cannot make any changes to the document.


I never post enough computer related stuff. I certainly don't post enough security stuff. So try this at home.

Carnegie to Release Report

Those crazy kids over at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace are releasing a report titled: WMD in IRAQ: Evidence and Implications. The time for the conf. call/presentation is 12:30 EST.

Rumour has it that it isn't going to be all that supportive of the administration.

There goes CEIP blaming America first. tsk, tsk, tsk.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

A Perfect Circle Announces Spring Tour Dates.

Visit the web site to learn when APC will be in your towne.

If you aren't familiar with APC then damn you straight to hell. APC is Maynard's "side" band when he isn't leading the greatest band in the world, Tool. The newest iteration of APC features James Iha and Billy Howerdel

Seriously, Maynard was quoted as saying something ridiculous (and offensive) like "Tool was the disease and APC is the cure." I don't get that for one minute but half of what he writes escapes my feeble mind anyway.

Cash: "Lick My Balls"

Montgomery, AL - The ghost of Johnny Cash held a press conference today where he candidly discussed his thoughts on his life, recordings, and resurgence in fame and record sales in his last months.

Cash, flanked by Def America label chief Rick Rubin, demanded that his ass be kissed and instructed the general populace, especially those fans that "rode my jock like a cheap ho,'" to "Lick my balls."

"Look," said Cash, dressed not in black but a polka-dotted suit, "If everybody cherished my music so much why couldn't I get signed to a country label? Thanks to Rick [Rubin] I was still making new music rather then being some kind of tribute act to myself."

"And tell me something else," Cash continued, "Why was it that the Rock n' Roll promoters and fans were more accepting of my music then country? I'll tell you what, if you want Toby Keith and Shania Twain, you got 'em."

"One more thing: I did perform other songs other than 'Circle of Fire.'"

Cash shook hands with Bill McGathy and Rick Rubin and ascended to heaven in a black 1970 Lincoln Continental.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Maddox Pays Tribute to Real Men

I've posted links to Maddox's stuff before but I figure everybody (both of you) that reads this site probably forgot. Well, please direct your gaze to his tribute to real men like Gregory Peck.

While you're there, check out his newest additions to the hate mail section.

Enjoy

Christ Turns Back on Athletes.




Indianapolis, IN - In a rare occurrence last month, Jesus, the Christian deity, failed to come through in the clutches of the 85 - 64 defeat of a local recreational sports team. Sports writers are still struggling to explain last months' defeat of a Christian basketball team at the hands of Jewish athletes.

After thanking Jesus for previous victories and citing his "hand" as a contributing factor, the Christians were smotten by a high-scoring, run-and-shoot Jewish offense. Lead as well by a stingy defense, the Jews rolled to a 12-0 record, at all times taking time out to praise G-d.

"I feel as though we owe a lot of this championship to G-d," said team captain Benjamin Hasten. "I've spent a fair amount of time playing sports and as a Jew I can tell you: It ain't easy. Christ just always seems to pull through for those guys - but tonight, our guy came through."

Sports historians say one would have to go back as far as the 1960's to find a time when the Christian G-d let his athletes down in such a manner. Robert Eulotheimer, a sports writer for the Phoenix Herald, points to Sandy Koufax and Muhammed Ali as examples. "In the 60's, Christ's powers, as they related to sports, really bottomed out. Sandy Koufax, clearly hurling fastballs for his G-d and Muhammad Ali, a pugalistic powerhouse for his saviour, Allah, provided us with the two best examples of the Christian G-d failing his believers. For the past thirty-some years however, Christ has really been the driving force in sports wins - especially Superbowls and NBA championships."


Saturday, January 03, 2004

Why be a Republican?

Why be a Democrat? I stumbled across this article from The Detroit News (which is also the Free Press) documenting the Republican parties assault on states' rights - a previously cherished pillar of belief. I'd like to draw your attention to the ban on "partial birth abortion" which, rather liberally, used the commerce clause to draw strength.

Just an FYI, if you belong to a party, your an idiot. There, I said it.

Update: This article is also over at Atrios but if you wish to explore Detroit newspapers, try the Metro Times (my favourite.) If you have sensory overload, try the poor man's version of the Times: Real Detroit.

Endangered Species Act determined a bore.

In one of the first Reason articles to appall me in a long time, Ronald Bailey misses about every point and jumps to every conclusion possible.

Here are my favourites:

"First, according to the government's own statistics, there seem to be more endangered species than ever. In 1967, then-Secretary of the Interior Steward Udall listed 78 species as threatened with extinction under the pre-ESA Endangered Species Preservation Act of 1966. Today, the U.S. Department of the Interior's Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) lists 517 animal species and 746 plant species in the United States as endangered or threatened, for a total of 1,263 species. No one really knows the total number of species in the United States, but one estimate by the conservation group NatureServe puts it at 36,500 species and 10,775 subspecies. So if FWS is right, that means that about 3.5 percent of all species or 2.7 percent of all species and subspecies in the U.S. are either endangered or threatened.

Although environmentalists try to suggest that saving endangered species protects humanity, too, the fact is that species preservation is really important only on aesthetic and moral grounds."

and

"The Science article relentlessly continues, "Nowhere is this more starkly revealed than in the extinction of species." Humanity, after all, has been responsible for the extinction in many parts of the world "of all or most of the larger terrestrial animal species... This means that the 'natural' systems we currently think of in these parts of the world (North and South America, Australasia, and virtually all oceanic islands) are nothing of the sort, and yet they still function at least according to our perceptions and over time scales we are currently capable of measuring." In other words, we don't need a lot of species to insure our own species' comfortable existence."

and,

"Grizzly bears and gray wolves, on Dingell's list, are indeed nowhere near being extinct, but then they never were in such danger. It's true that between 50,000 and 100,000 grizzly bears once roamed the American West, and today there are only 1,300 or so in the lower 48 U.S. states. However, there are an estimated 53,000 in Canada and Alaska. And while there may be only some 3,700 gray wolves in the lower 48, 58,000 of them roam and howl in Alaska and Canada.

The gray wolf brings up some sticky questions about whether we ought to value species proliferation for its own sake."

The comment about needing a lot of species to insure our "comfortable existence" sums it up for me. There are people that believe we only need carrots, lettuce, cows, chickens, tomatoes, and corn (and a few fruits.) I've worked with several over the years. You can't argue with them or even discuss this stuff with them. The reason is simple: They don't care. It's not necessarilly that they are evil people. They just view the world differently. They see the earth as Man's domain and a place that only needs to last the 70 years they will live on said planet.

What's interesting, and it is captured nicely in this article, is that my arguments mean nothing to them and their arguments mean nothing to me. It is the quintessential "square peg - round hole" situation. The problem (with a solution TBD) stems from the fact that we have to live next to one another and that I have to ride my bike in woods infested with Dear ticks because people like Bailey don't care about Wolves in the lower 48 and PETA people don't want to shoot Bambi.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Grand Theft Auto: What gas bag doesn't have an opinion?

Via, /., this little piece on the evils of video games is brought to you by the New York Post.

China.Org

Came across these sites by way of Medeiros and Fravel's essay on Chinese diplomacy in Forein Affairs. If you don't get the print version you may be precluded from viewing much of the text.

The first site is the State Council of Information Office and the other is the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Hint: You will have to find the "English" link on your own @ the Foreign Affairs Ministry.

Happy New Year.

We begin this new year with an interesting site dedicated to Michael Moore.

If you are anything like me (and in most cases I hope you're not,) you probably feel a little cheated or deceived by Moore's bullshit.

Bowlingfortruth.com tends to be a smidge pro-administration (no matter what administration) but I think you'll have fun!

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