Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Just for a Laugh....

Go to Neal "I'm a thinking man's libertarian" Boortz's "Nealz Nuze" section here. (Holy shit dude! Who thought of that original name! "Nealz Nuze!" Wow!) Now, this is a homework assignment and your input is requested.

Ok, so go to the Nealz Nuze - more chuckling, oh boy - section and find your favourite straw man, non-sequitur, or other total illogical, nonsensical rambling. Here's mine:

Looks like the CIA uses a not-so-secret jet to transport Islamic terrorists from one country to another for questioning. They might even be tortured her or there. They should have thought about that before they became terrorists.

Neal should have probably studied more in college. Hint: This one's called Begging the Question.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

"Step into My Office. You're F-F-F-Fucking Fired"

Today's leader that should have been fired but instead failed himself right to the top is: U.S. DHS CIO Steve Cooper. As usual, when told he may have a problem with his network security, Steve does what they all do: shift the blame/make excuses/punch you in the balls.

Try this one security buffs:
The systems suffering known vulnerabilities were waiting for patches to come out of testing, and any genuine effort at password hacking would be hobbled by the Department's policy of limiting failed login attempts...

"Hobbled?" Yes, but not mitigated; not even close. ...ok, maybe if each DHS employee walked his/her own TCP session to the authenticating authority. That must be what he's talking about. Just turn right after the bathrooms - you'll see port 445 - go there. Also, unless he's bluffing which I doubt, the enemy thanks him for letting them know what operating system DHS is running - brilliant!

Sad thing is that this is pretty standard amoung his type and if you would believe this, Mr. Cooper and I have actually crossed paths. If you know the Captain then you know where. Have fun with that one readership!

Antics: Decide for Yourself

I picked up Interpol's new album, Antics, this Sunday. I love the album just as much as their first. It seems that I'm in the minority saying this. In fact, most critics even hate the first track, "Next Exit," whereas I like it - quite a bit in fact.

If you're an Interpol fan you should probably have the album by now. If however, you are not a fan or you don't have the album, you're probably a loser and haven't read this far into this post. If you like Joy Division or The Afghan Whigs(Greg Dulli could shit on vinyl and I'd buy it!), odds are you'll like Interpol. So go buy the albums - both of them.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Thug Nation

Perhaps this is just a comment and a plea for discussion. Maybe this is just a lazy observation.... What does it say about our culture when Snoop Dogg is hocking electronics? What does it say about Hip-Hop culture when hardcore gangsta rappers are starring in Hollywood movies and doing commercials and sitcoms?

When these two worlds collide both suffer and nobody wins save the "artist's" bank account and possible the product owner. In the long run I'm not sure Snoop and Method Man can go back to talking about "poppin' caps" and anally penetrating women after endorsing deodorant. And with that, we all lose. Perhaps they will go back to “discussing” those activities – then we’d all really lose.

Just a random thought...

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Because Neal Boortz (and his listeners) is Just That Stupid

I try to listen, in small doses, to America's right arm-pit whenever I can. News-based entertainers like Limbaugh, Savage, and the like are just so hard to take. Unfortunately, more and more Americans get their hard news from these types. Perhaps that's why Americans thought Saddam Hussein helped plan 9/11....

Recently, Neal Boortz, when attempting to show liberal bias in the press made this claim: (NOT A QUOTE) You'll hear a bunch of stories about how bad America is from the liberal press but I challenge you; when was the last time you heard about a hero?

Now the logic behind this is ludicrous. Boortz insinuates that being liberal equals hating America because: The press is liberal, one doesn't hear about heroes in uniform from the press, therefore liberals hate the United States especially the military.

Now, let me be clear: finding the misspeaks of right-wing infotainers is something about which I couldn't give two shits. It just so happens that I stumbled across some low-hanging fruit - on NPR no less.

Today's Fresh Air with Terry Gross featured New York Times reporter Dexter Filkins. Mr. Filkins discussed his experiences while embedded with the Marines in Fallujah.

Notice how Mr. Filkins, especially when talking about a Capt. Alejandro, details and marvels at the bravery and acts of courage displayed by the marines. Go to 15+ minutes into the show if you aren't interested in listening to the entire piece (although I recommend listening to the whole thing). Filkins details individual acts of courage as well as acts of courage by entire platoons. He talks about the terror of being stuck in a mosque with an Iraqi insurgent and recently-killed marine as other marines stormed the mosque so as to secure their fallen comrade.

Mr. Filkins'- and many reporters'- filings are full of such acts. (Search Mr. Filkins works here).

That was too easy...but if you listen to Boortz I'll bet you never tried. I'll bet you just took that assholes word for it didn't you?

Sunday, December 19, 2004

...Out of Which So Much Good Can Come

But one fact was at the back of everyone's mind at this summit - no country which has begun membership talks has ever been rejected by the EU before.

Remember When Liberals Where the Only Whiney, Speech Censuring Fools?

“We had people coming in that were trying to punch me and my daughter out...”

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Nation's Leaders Charge Fashion with Lapel Support

Washington - As lapels across the United States become more and more stressed under the weight of lapel pins, the nation's leaders feel compelled to act. Lapels have seen increased stress in the last 3 1/2 years as Americans put it all on the line to show their nationalistic fervor and display their sacrifice with lapel pins. But that level of commitment comes with a price. As Americans buy more pins or buy larger pins (thereby showing a larger level of commitment) their lapels suffer under the weight. The cash price is about $4.00.

The culprit

When the "Lapel pin or Bin Laden" act was passed in the wake of the September 11th terrorist attacks, U.S. leaders from President Bush down to NFL pre-game hosts like Greg Gumbel, were required by law to wear patriotic pins. Fearing Al-Qaeda infiltration, legislators required all Americans to show what team they supported by identifying it on their lapel.

Now, several years on, men in the U.S. are noticing a frightening trend: Lapel wear. But America’s law makers have stepped in with a drastic plan.

The plan, put forth by Iowa Republican senator Chuck Grassley (pictured with a lapel pin, of course), calls for all designers and makers of men's clothing to buttress their lapels with sturdier fabriques. Said Grassley, "I envision a day when men can stroll freely on any street in America with a 2 pound lapel pin and at the end of the day have a suit coat that can't tell the difference."

New York designer Baron Herr Dr. Klause St. Marie was less optimistic noting, "Oh my gosh, this is ridiculous. Next thing you know they'll want to make being gay illegal."

Real Leadership

Or at least that's what I wish my country would show when it comes to the global environment. More here....or anywhere Google will take you.

Please, please argue with me that market forces will properly address pollution. Please, please argue with me that market forces will address security concerns. Come on, what about the sovereignty issue? Argue that one. How about moral values? Try rectifying the "moral values" argument against emitting 25% of all emissions and refusing to cap them because it will restrict economic growth.

But if you voted for Bush, you knew this is what you were getting. So thanks a bunch assholes. Blah, blah, blah, "But Bush was the first to recognize mercury and address it" blah, blah, blah.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Because We All Love Lists

Check out The Onion's AV Club. They have the year end lists of everyone's favourite shit.

Feel free to comment on yours!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Seeing Things

I finally rented Hero last weekend. What a crazy movie; it was nothing that I could have ever expected (I suppose I could have expected it...). It was much more cerebral then I thought - so the extra booze that I had consumed that evening didn't help following the plot, action, and subtitles. So I went back and watched it again and loved it - now that's not to say I didn't like it the first time. I was drunk so I just couldn't judge it; like an ugly girl in a bar at 3am. Presented by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Zhang Yimou the movie is thick with a great story, rich symbolism, and great action - and Jet Li!

If you haven't already seen it, check it out. If you have, feel free to comment.

Monday, December 13, 2004

I'm Psychic so I used my ESPN

You play to win the game. --Herm Edwards

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Eli Manning would face a number of "challenges" when he was handed the starting QB job in New York - New Jersey. With a sub-par offensive line, mediocre (relatively speaking) receivers, and a declining running game, the rookie QB was going to have his hands full.

But replacing 2-time MVP, Super bowl champ, and fundamentalist lunatic Kurt Warner was one of the most questionable moves of the season. Given that the NFC may very well send a sub-500 team to the playoffs, what sense did replacing Mr. Adversity himself with an unproven rookie make? When Manning replaced Warner, the Giants were 5-4 and had a chance to make the playoffs. Now, they are 5-8 and losers of 6 in a row.

And then, in response to yesterday's ol' fashioned ass kicking at the hands of the Ravens - in which Manning's QB rating was 0.0 - Coach Tom Coughlin said, "Kurt played very well at the end of the game, but Eli is still the starting quarterback."

Does somebody want to explain to me why Tom Coughlin has thrown this season away?

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Cal Thomas Loses It

I'm not a huge fan of Cal Thomas. Most of the time I can just ignore him. But this morning, I was forced to read this nonsensical diatribe titled "U.S. out of U.N. -now!"

There are so many non sequiturs in this drivel I don't know where to start.... And originally, I had taken this piece paragraph by paragraph. I have since deleted that part of this post in favour of this statement: Apparently, when you are a columnist, your job is to just write something every week; it doesn't have to make sense and doesn't have to follow any sort of reasoning.

Read for yourself and feel free to agree or disagree but remember: I'm not saying the argument of getting the U.S. out of multi-lateral agreements is necessarily without merit. I'm saying Thomas is an idiot and he proves it in this piece.

The Oscars are a Sham

I finally got a chance to see Dawn of the Dead last night; Mrs. Ober has actively precluded my viewing for months now.

Let me be one of many to say: Dawn of the Dead was robbed! It should have won an Oscar for best picture. It may be better then Citizen Kane which many feel is the greatest movie of all time!

Seriously, it may not be that good but as far as horror movies go, it is one bad ass flick. If you do pick up the directors cut, don't bother with the first two extras on the DVD; they suck. But other then that the movie is tops! Zach Snyder's directing is outstanding and the special affects are subtle but superb. A great screenplay never hurts either.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Ribbons and Stickers are for Steers and Queers

While camped out at the hotel this week, I picked up a copy of USA Today. Now normally I don't read that particular rag but Tuesday's paper included an editorial I enjoyed.

Titled "National sacrifice requires more than symbolic ribbons," this editorial summed up my feelings about a number of people including the Bush administration. Here's a snip:

The proliferation of magnetic ribbons on America's roads is a wonderful symbol of support for the troops. But in wartime, symbols are not enough.

Reminds me of the Daily Show's segment on the Bush administration called something like "Words over actions."

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Red Herring #4,034,249 in America's Losing Battle with Obesity

You could sleep more...or you could do what fit people do.

I'm not trying to take away anything from this scientific research. Researching how we as humans function is a noble pursuit. However, one has to admit that there seems to be study followed by study that offers one more factor in obesity. This issue with me isn't the study itself but rather the way the media portray the issue of obesity as a rich tapestry when it isn't.

There are some hard and fast rules to living a healthy life: Watch your calories, exercise, and eat healthy foods. Just like everything else in life, you have to take responsibility for your own affairs.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

...just substitute "Security" for "Safety."

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Sabre Rattling

I've been wanting to write this post for many months now but I haven't been able to figure out how to phrase any of it. I could never decide how to not sound mean or snide. Screw it! I'm going to write it that way nevertheless.

2 or 3 nights a week, the usual lot of cyclists, basketball, football, and baseball players, lifters, and hockey players is complemented by sword fighters. No shit. I said sword fighters. Actually, I think they like to be called fencers or maybe swash-bucklers. Come to think of it, I think they call themselves The Jewish Sabre Club. That conjures a vision doesn't it?

Seriously, these people are strange. They are a weird mix of Dungeons and Dragons, KMFDM, junior high science club, and bored house wife. I've never seen a group of people "warming up" on the track and actually been concerned for their safety and the safety of others. Mainly I'm concerned that with all of the flailing limbs they will either trip over themselves and skin a knee or chin or take out our prized Hebrew rowing team.

Sabring or Fencing or whatever it is may just be the strangest pseudo-sport ever. I've never seen such a strange and non-athletic group. I know that it's an Olympic sport but based on our group of fencers perhaps it shouldn't be.

Or maybe you're saying Jews can't fence? Racist asshole.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I Love It When a Party Line Talking Point Comes Together

"These are the people that don't know any moral values."

See "They Hate Us for Our Freedom" below.

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